year of 2010 >> I did it my way

Summary of 2010..can be expressed as simple as a song from Frank Sinatra:

I have chosen a road that not much people is willing to take, and yes, it is my way

I did it My way

And now, the end is near, (yeah,1 more day)
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain. (body language is more worthy than thousand words)

I've lived a life that's full - (full of pathetic lie)
I've travelled each and every highway. (travelled a lot of way,but not highway..)
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way. (this is what most important to me)

Regrets? I've had a few, (yes,few only..not all sayan realted )
But then again, too few to mention. (ya..+lazy to mention..+to no1 to mention..)
I did what I had to do (sad case.. did something jz becoz "had to do..")
And saw it through without exemption. (too many exemption = more excuses in my life..)

I planned each charted course - (too much planning, but luckily the actions jz stick to most of the plan)
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this, (everything got something much more than it!)
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, (i knew it too..jz it is better to not showing it..)
When I bit off more than I could chew, (yea..did something crazy which are hardly accepted..even by myself)
But through it all, when there was doubt, (when in doubt? fold!)
I ate it up and spit it out. (jz go for it!!!)
I faced it all and I stood tall (hehe so that sayan can notice me =) )
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried, (hv loved,hv laughed..but nearly but hvnt cried..)
I've had my fill - my share of losing. (mitigate my disadvantages..)
But now, as tears subside, (guy got tears not bleed out ecly!)
I find it all so amusing. (ha ha haha)

To think I did all that, (do i have to recall it? did something wei shui?)
And may I say, not in a shy way - (shy wat wor??wait wat ooo???)
Oh no. Oh no, not me. (not me is not you)
I did it my way.

For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows (blow till flied up..)
And did it my way.

Yes, it was my way. (if not? is sayan's way?)

Poker only and ultimate goal

The time i was studying various business subject, the only thing i can remember vividly is the ultimate goal of the management team towards the company. The word "Maximize shareholder return " is a must have objective, which are included in the vision statement in every annual report. Yes, it is their obligation to satisfy the shareholders ,who have invested their capital,and opportunity cost or time, in exchange for the capital appreciation.

After so many nonsense above, the poker game is something really about the same as what i said above. We play poker not for nothing! We are responsible for the time we have spent on the game! We take our time,our chips and sit @ a table,playing for hrs...so the goal is simple: maximize the profit during that time!

1 simple rule of thumb for how we should look @ the game: we are playing the game,not the cards =)

we are dealing with other people(other than dealer),our energy should be used to tackle the opponent, get their chips! We could have won 10 rounds in a row,but losing back all of it in 2-3 hands.

For example, getting AA @ pre-flop, you got the best chance of winning among all other people, BUT best chance means that the way you win with the hand is also happen by chance!

Best thing to do is...betting the RIGHT value such that it is maximizing your profit in looongg run. There is no such thing this argument: "AA should be valued @ ...","The best chance of winning=already win/no one else can win" could stand.

BTW i mentioned "betting the RIGHT value"..it could be meant in various sense...it is something accumulated through experience..but even the most experienced poker player do need the guidance from the concept of "Expected value","pot-odd" blah blah..interesting thing to think of..

wish her time @ there is good, getting happy and happy and happy and ..everyday

The last day ..she's gone

14th Dec...cat's last day!!..

fire drill evacuation also..

wish her very good luck @ new place..perhaps it is time to venture into jln raja chulan..

song:

She will be loved

Poker AA,KK,QQ,JJ pairs winning rate

This is my first post regarding my view towards various poker hands. My first post was reserved specifically for so called "big" pairs: AA,KK,QQ,JJ,1010 because recently with the help of these big pairs i got my pot size pumped up faster than i could imagine. JJ pairs got my pot size doubled up yesterday and QQ increase another 50% of my pot size today=)

How should i view this kind of "big" pairs? And how should i play with this kind of hand?

From what i observed so far(from fb texas table),most ppl tend to go all in at the pre-flop play,2nd many ppl will just check or raise a little bit as if this is just something like J9,K10,JK,JQ,A10..etc.

1st type play is the most common play,for the obvious reason: get as few opponents playing the round as possible,thus increasing the chance of winning. It is not usual to have ppl call the all-in with hand like 56,78,108,suited or flush etc..hands like 66,77,99,smart player will usually fold it depends on the pot size. Mathematically,it is kind of waste if there are 5-6 ppl calling your "big pairs",and your chance stand at 20-30% something,thanks to the vital straight,flush or 2 pairs they could have. The things change if you filtered out those "black horse". Statistically,someone can win with AA with 2-3 opponents only at chance of 40-45%. Considering you knock the opponent with all-ins, what tend to left over is hands like A10,AK,AJ,J10,KJ,QJ etc(something with minimum 10 as the small card).So the chance of winning can easily shoot up to 50-60% as you have taken away some of the card they are waiting for to get the straight/2 pairs! Conclusion? Statistic/poker calculator can hardly cover the human behaviour(posterior probability after the human normal instinct)as it is not programmable,it is from personal judgement. What it helps is to get the expected value for the bet right over the time =)For very long time,i always feels that all-in is the best "solution" to play these "big" pairs for some cute reason: they "should" be valued at this level, and it takes no regret because it wont earn me less than payoff from all-in! if i get kicked off after all-in,i can just blame that it is fated! AA also die,AK also cant win,AA also lose to 56 ..etc ..is not a fresh things to all of us i believe =)

Matured player will get a lot of lesson from the word "should",and start to perceive things differently...

2nd play is common too...old way of making chips,hoping to catch aggressive+reckless players. Thinking of seducing opponents to raise them and re-raise re-raise and all-ins them... this could easily got them trapped by the word "should"...my hand should get them finished off if I re-raise them and all-in them! there should be someone raise me if i check them...they should think my hand weakly and off their guard if i just check or think my hand only something normal like J10,J8 etc if i raise like normal...hehe..you just havent met the pros!(like me =D jkjk) what should i do if they keep checking me? all-in at river? of course they will just fold =) TOO OBVIOUS! Of course emotion get affected.cant win worthy pot with worthy hands..AA,JJ,QQ also cant win much,not to mention 99,88,k10...etc...confidence level drop drop drop drop drop....

Something is missing for the 2nd play!! ---------> kiLLer instinCt!!

Anyway..there is always no right or wrong for every style of playing. Just to share my experience in paragraph 1...

yesterday won with QQ with just a simple move: raise 3x-4x of my normal raise at pre-flop,e.g: in 1k/2k blind table,my normal raise is 6k-8k,den 3x become 18k-24k,4x become 24k-32k..then suddenly 3-4 ppl with hands like A2,56,J8,KQ all-ins me = ='' the atmosphere was really hot and thx to those aggressively playing idiot ppl =) of course i was lucky to have those ppl playing same table with me ..

today won with JJ,by raising 2x of my normal raise...something similar happen...except that their hands are nicer compared to ytd..forgot what hand dy =p..

last hand was the luckiest of the day! full house own 2 flush,1 straight,1 pairs,1 two pairs players,pot size won was the whopping 1.4M in one round!!

Most importantly is this happen before she add me...which was something emotionally dangerous+risky..as expected...in a relationship..what worse is......he doesnt look as yongsui as i thought earlier...arghhh...thx to my rationale and some songs...i am able to get myself controlled and stop playing poker..before something really bad happen to my chips..like last time..due to same reason...

song playing:

特别的爱给特别的你

share something funny---> my "antivirus"

found something funny when i was studying my msn setting...I am using "Warcraft.exe" to scan my msn file!!! haha this was a pro recommendation from lll since i got no anti virus installed at my place, but msn force me to specify a programme(so called "antivirus")to "scan"my in coming file,so that i can receive file via msn =)

new poker chapter

last weekend my poker reach all time low(again) @ 186k chips..thx to the 3rd sayan shock i hv had recently..though the sayan shock consequences are yet to be recovered, but i hv determined that i will nvr let my poker chips down to that level again. Today will be the marking and memorable moment to begin my new poker chapter. start with 186k, i am to grow my chips size to beyond the peak time i hv had before: 150M. There is no compromise for this,be it a rainy day,sunny day or moody day, I will just do it, with most valuable assets i hv: killeR instinCt!

How do i live

After few nights of struggling, my mind is still confused. She is just too attractive to the extent that is worth dying everything just to get her, even i was provided with the info that there is a great barrier.. i can hardly imagined what i watch from tv is happening on me..i was teasing at those fanatic gal chaser, even "sudah berpunya"..how ironic...should i say i understand what it takes and why they do that now? Can we just ignore how we feel just because the reality tell us we shouldn't/not wise to do so?Complicated mood now..lost my passion to pursue career,exam,money,...(maybe not the thing i really want..is a bridge to what i really want..).

should i start reading the books i have bought? "The Game 把妹达人","心魔行销"...dun think it helps..do i hv sufficient time/chance to apply it? I don't know how do i live after the day...

even she is there everyday..but i cant feel her heart was there..

Song of the night:

How do i live,如何可以不爱她..

5:50pm,30/11/2010

she is cute,smart,intelligent, most of all , attractive..and some mysterious
her 1st day here was so unexpected...i can see from her eye that she is not staying here for long,
after 1 week, i was really happy to see that she is still there. One day in the 2nd week, i cant see her at the place, i was thinking: she got better offer from...? My mind was lingering to no where, I cant focus my work. The 2nd day, she is there! I was totally delighted, and I was energized for the full day.For very long time, finally I could find a reason y i like to work---->so that i can see her =) I tried different ways to approach her, get to know what she think, what she like and what kind of animal she is ..After some time, I can feel there is a gap between us..cant find much common topic, she is not willing to disclose more about herself, rarely got chance to meet up with her..the only chance was lunch time, but with a lot of "sisters" around...I found all my way,seeking help from frens, both male and female frens..some suggest me to start from her "sisters"..i refused to apply this trick as i feel that it is too risky,and the so called" sisters" are not really de "sisters" as they are more like a temporary mate/colleagues. I asked another question: how to know that she got a bf,one of my fren provided me a simple yet intuitive answer: frequent call/sms.FOr the few days, something "pitiful" happened..from what i observed, she was doing it really frequent..my heart was so cold..after that i applied some "magic" on her, some "direct mirroring",but nothing has worked..really down...At last,thats today,i used up all my vision observation power(normally i only use hearing and sense to observe)...i conclude that there is strong indication(what i call:" strong feeling") that she is not available..Around 5:50pm, i got confirmed to my conclusion...the truth is always "great"..immediately after it,my superior called me up to assign some tasks,but of course my mind was blank and certainly was not hearing what he is saying..only got to know a good news albeit this very sad,disgrace,tragedy moment..he will be onleave tomorrow..now what i can do is observe verbal,non-verbal body language/signal that a "belonged" sayan should be having...keep connected with her, get whatever opportunity i could hv..i am still waiting.......take a lesson for my next story
last thanks goes to Mr K..for telling me the truth,before i go further and hurt further
song for this:
从不喜欢孤单一个,岁月如歌

Joy or Pain,Joy and Bitter

as expected,she got her another half
sooner or later..
but she look innocent..though i cant say she is not happy,not sweet

thats y i wont wish them good luck! but wont curse dem either...

but there is no pain..only bitterly joy
dats really sad
pain can be separated from joy ecly
but not bitterness

last but not least
memorable event muz come along with memorable songs
爱我的人和我爱的人&我无所谓

Jz got to know what it means for "it's complicated"

testing 123

Today is my 1st time being a blogger. Good night everyone.